Headlines - Friday July 2

 

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"It's Day 71 of the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. They just did a poll that says only 6 percent of Americans have a favorable view of BP, to which I say, 6 percent of Americans have a favorable view of BP? That's 18 million people. Is it possible that 18 million Americans don't know what the word favorable means?"- Jimmy Kimmel

 

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Move over fruit, meat-flavored vodkas moving in.

 

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FDL has learned that in a last minute move, Nancy Pelosi sneaked language into the rule that the House is voting on tonight regarding war funding.

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Fred Thompson has a 10,000 year-old joke for you!

Haw haw, Dipshit Magoo Fred Thompson should be the next comedian-senator and then Al Franken could retire and focus on his art, you know, maybe doodle a portrait of HOW MUCH EVERYONE HATES FRED THOMPSON. The Hill: Twitter Room

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Funny, Mike Milken went to jail for this. 

But Bernanke and Geithner are somehow exempt?

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke and then-New York Fed President Timothy Geithner told senators on April 3, 2008, that the tens of billions of dollars in "assets" the government agreed to purchase in the rescue of Bear Stearns Cos. were "investment-grade." They didn't share everything the Fed knew about the money.

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Flying is such a pleasure these days

Especially with the complimentary maggots.

ATLANTA — Maggots falling from an overhead bin from a spoiled container of meat forced an US Airways flight to return to the gate so the bin could be cleaned.

Passenger Donna Adamo said she noticed a couple of flies on the Monday flight when she got to her seat but didn't think much of it. Then, as the plane was taxiing, she heard a passenger behind her causing a commotion and refusing to take her seat.

"Then I heard the word 'maggot' and that kind of got everybody creeped out," she said. "All of a sudden, I felt somebody flick the back of my hair and on the front of me came a maggot, which I flicked off me."

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For those moments when you want to reassure yourself that you're not COMPLETELY INSANE, a new blog about your lunatic relatives:

Conservative Crap My Aunt Sends Me.

And then there's Tea Party Jesus...

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Google Violates Cultural Warrior's Privacy

It's bad enough the anti-coerced childbirth lobby is mocking Neal Horsley's past relationships. Now, Google Street View has published a photo of Neal Jr.

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Miss Ladyfingers USA To Get Opposite Married In Gay-Boycotted Hotel

Tomorrow Carrie Ladyfingers Prejean will opposite marry NFL quarterback Kyle Boller in San Diego. And in a deliberate final "fuck you" to the gays, she's booked the wedding at Doug Manchester's Grand Del Mar Hotel. Manchester's hotels have been boycotted and picketed by gays and gay-friendly organizations ever since it was revealed that he contributed more than $125,000 to Protect Marriage. Manchester has tried to end the boycott, which has cost him millions in convention business, by offering free rooms and meeting space to LGBT groups, all of whom have refused. Last August, Doug "Sanctity of Marriage" Manchester ditched his wife of 43 years in an ugly divorce that included accusations that he forged her endorsement on an $8.2M tax refund check.

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This is a positive development. AFP: "The United States will accept 22 offers of assistance from 12 countries and international bodies, including two high speed skimmers and fire containment boom from Japan," a US State Department statement said.

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What a goddamn sick joke. Oh right, it's Bill Clinton who is delivering the prize and who is a previous winner of this peace medal. It's hard for the US to be taken seriously as a country interested in peace when they give medals to someone who was a critical player in invading Iraq and who recently defended the Israeli attack on the supplies being delivered to Gaza.

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Terribly cool: first photo of a planet outside our solar system.

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WTF, Sully

This is the kind of thing that makes the areligious think all believers, even the modest ones who aren't in your face evangelicals, are proselytizing dicks:

May the God he believes poisons everything be with him.

Hitchens is an atheist. Wishing God be with him during his illness is like wishing COBOL on a caterpillar or bequeathing morals to Newt Gingrich. None of them have any use for what you are wishing on them.

Jeebus. Hitch will be going through chemo- may his friends with kickass weed and good jokes be with him.

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Things we already knew

Chimpy is the worst president in modern history.

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Boner takes a stand against paying $1.50 more for indoor tanning.

Fun fact: John Boehner is a lazy boozesack, according to hundreds of Republican lawmakers interviewed by Joe Scarborough. Think Progress/Raw Story

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17 REPUBLICAN senators from states with double-digit jobless rates repeatedly vote to filibuster unemployment benefits.

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Fancy Book Learnin'

Glenn Beck starts college that will be better than all other colleges, combined

If you're like most Americans, you've probably always wanted to get a fraud degree online from the University of Phoenix, but are concerned about that institution's well-known Marxist ideology and don't want to be brainwashed while trying to get your HVAC Repair certificate. Well, your day is just about to be made, because now you can get a degree online (i.e., download nine bullshit lectures from scam artists and wackadoodles) from Beck University, an actual accredited college founded by Glenn Beck! (Note for legal purposes: Beck University is not an accredited college.) MORE »

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Trillions for futile war; not a dime for essential jobs

The literally lethal hypocrisy of congress critters who vote against injecting desperately needed spending into the economy then vote to flush even more tax dollars down the Afghan clusterfuck toilet has stopped being funny.

From Firedoglake:

Progressive Democrats issued a challenge this morning to their colleagues in the House on the eve of a scheduled vote on the war supplemental: the only fiscally responsible stance is to end the emergency funding.

It is disingenuous to say this is an "emergency" supplemental. The only "emergency" is this: In funding the longest war in history, we are putting America further into debt with China, expanding the deficit, increasing wasteful government spending, undermining our budgetary process, risking Social Security and solidifying debt that military leaders call our number one national security threat.

The Iraq Study Group argued in 2006 that the government should stop funding the wars with emergency supplemental appropriation bills that avoid budgetary restrictions.

Last year, President Obama pledged to stop these off-budget gimmicks to hide the cost of war. Last week, Admiral Mike Mullen, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, cited debt as the number one threat to America's national security. This week, Republican leader John Boehner stated that "We need to look at the American people and explain to them that we're broke," proposing to cut Social Security to pay for the war.

Our challenge: if you oppose deficit spending, debt dependency on China, cuts to Social Security, and are concerned about a debt-threat to our national security, then oppose this bill.

SNIP

If the unemployed can't get what they want in a timely manner, the Pentagon shouldn't either.

Read the whole thing and watch the videos here.

Then call or email your members of Congress and tell them jobs come before wars.

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Hey, he only beat the kids - he didn't rape them. "A German bishop who resigned after accusations he hit children could be allowed to return to work, it has emerged. Pope Benedict XVI has told Bishop Walter Mixa of Augsburg that he has to take time off for treatment and reconciliation if he wants to return to pastoral work. The case of Bishop Mixa has caused public controversy in Germany amid the sexual scandals which have hit the Roman Catholic church in recent months. The Pope received the bishop in private audience at the Vatican during which - according to a Vatican statement - the bishop admitted he had made mistakes, but asked that the good he had done as a pastor not be forgotten. He had been accused of finanical misconduct as well as physically abusing children in his care."