Friday, May 24, 2013
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Good news everyone — we've got a brand new story about Jose Canseco, the pathetic, washed-up, wife-beating, bankrupted pus-sac that hit a gillion home runs, got all his friends to do steroids, then wrote a book tattling on all of them.
The PED trailblazer has also jumped into new ways of abusing women: Moving on from his traditional "ram my wife's car" maneuver, he's decided to publically respond to rape allegations (bad idea) on Twitter (even worse) by tweeting his accuser's name (horrible) and phone number (fucking impossible to get any more awful). READ MORE »
Former halfterm Moose Queen Sarah Palin has some Thoughts, and she has left her dumb ol' Myface page for the Big League Pixels of Ghost Andrew Breitbart's Internet Home for Wayward Wig Addicts to bring em at ya! Her thoughts are on the IRS, and how people "live in fear of them." Sure, we'll bite!
This IRS scandal is especially terrible because Americans live in fear of the IRS like no other entity because this monstrous bureaucracy has the power to take your hard-earned money. Your wages are the sum of your labors; hence, the IRS has the power to steal the fruits of your labors. Average Americans live in fear of making an error on their tax returns that could cost them massive amounts of money, plus their reputation and good name. If a small business makes a mistake, the IRS can shut them down and send them to jail.
You know, we hate to sound like those police state proponents who say if you've done nothing wrong you've nothing to fear, but … well. You know.
We do not "live in fear" of the IRS. In fact, not to be a better citizen than you, but not only do we love jury duty, but we don't even hate paying our taxes! We go to the post office to mail out your Shut the Fuck Up Luke Russert coffee cups, and we brag to Cheryl, the lady there, that we are going to fill like AT LEAST THREE POTHOLES, and she is welcome!
Why might Sarah Palin "live in fear" of the IRS? Let's do some hypothesizin', dontchaknow, after the jump! READ MORE »
SC, seething hotbed of unbridled
lust racism, cont. - SC Governor Nikki Haley has appointed a White Supremacist to her re-election campaign steering committee. (Raw Story)
Most schools in Oklahoma have no tornado shelters, because they cost too much. There are a few parents who paid a much higher price than a few extra tax dollars
Arizona state Rep. Juan Mendez quotes Carl Sagan, rather than saying a prayer before a session of the House. This shocking bit of Religious Freedom from an atheist would not stand, however, and aproper prayer was offered the next day to appease mighty Cthulhu -- or somebody. I don't know. In any case, we can be sure Arizona won't be cast into a lake of fire for the impiety of its legislature.
Eric Holder says that the US has killed four Americans with the drone program.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
"I don't think there's been any proof thus far that Sandy was caused by climate change," Christie said. "But I would absolutely expect that that's exactly what WNYC would say, because you know liberal public radio always has an agenda."
Proof. He wants "proof."
Keep in mind that this is a guy who believes that there is a great white alpha male who lives in the sky and that a guy in a dress in Rome has a direct conduit to him and that when he takes Communion the wafer and wine literally turn into the body and blood of a guy who may or may not have lived over 2000 years ago.
And yet several hundred miles of his state were devastated last fall by a veritable turducken of a storm that was unprecedented, and he wants to see "proof."
Granted, "weather" and "climate" are not the same thing. But a storm of the magnitude of Sandy, just like a tornado of the magnitude of the one that hit Oklahoma on Monday, is a symptom of a generally warming climate, which allows the air to hold more moisture and build more energy. We used to see devastating hurricanes every ten years or so. Now there is at least one every two or three years. Tornadoes have always been common in the midwest, but not tornadoes that cut a swath of up to two miles wide.
- 12.5% of pregnancies are unwanted.
- More than 610,000 Oklahomans lived below the poverty line in 2010.
- $410.42 per month is the average salary for a single person living in poverty in Oklahoma and more than 190,000 children under the age of 18 and more than a half million Oklahoma residents total are living in homes where they don't have enough money to pay for housing, medicine, food and heat.
- Of households experiencing hunger, less than 20 percent are classified as unemployed. More than one-third are disabled and/or retired, while the remaining 46 percent have at least one working member..
- Nearly 20% of Oklahoma girls never graduate high school.
James Inhofe and Tom Coburn, the latter of whom wants relief for tornado victims offset by cuts to programs in states other than his own (presumably the Communist Jewish Homosexual Pornographer states of New York, New Jersey, and Massachusetts that subsidize Oklahoma year after year), insist that THEIR state's relief is somehow different from New Jersey's. Left unsaid is their view that God and Jesus somehow favor the Bible-thumpers in Oklahoma who are doing just as much fucking and divorcing as everyone else, in which case why does God always rain tornadoes and devastation upon them making them a leading recipient of federal relief funds, while in the Communist Jewish Homosexual Pornographer states, we ask for help maybe once a decade?
Voters in New Jersey this fall ought to remember that this is the company Chris Christie wants to keep.
Corporations are people, my friend — only a very SPECIAL kind of people who are above vulgar affairs like, say, paying taxes, or being held accountable. This is why it's not illegal for Incorporated Americans to
evade avoid taxes, even if they are posting record profits, and also, because making corporations pay taxes is like class warfare, which, while not illegal, is un-American. This is why Apple, lord and master of the free market and captain of the laptop, did not do anything illegal by evading avoiding taxes using a complicated "web of lies tax shelters."
From the New York Times:
Even as Apple became the nation's most profitable technology company, it avoided billions in taxes in the United States and around the world through a web of subsidiaries so complex it spanned continents and went beyond anything most experts had ever seen, Congressional investigators disclosed on Monday.
Congressional investigators found that some of Apple's subsidiaries had no employees and were largely run by top officials from the company's headquarters in Cupertino, Calif. But by officially locating them in places like Ireland, Apple was able to, in effect, make them stateless — exempt from taxes, record-keeping laws and the need for the subsidiaries to even file tax returns anywhere in the world. READ MORE »
Thanking the Lord - Last-place anchor of last-place news network Wolf Blitzer encourages an aetheist to thank the Lord for her safety following the tornado.