Headlines - Saturday

I always thought super patriot Glenn Beck loved his country so much that it made him cry, but it turns out he's been smearing Vicks Vaporrub in his eyes.

 

 

On Thursday, Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) mocked Glenn Beck, stating that "only in America can you make that much money crying." Graham added that Beck is "not aligned with any party as far as I can tell. He's aligned with cynicism. And there's always been a market for cynicism." On his radio show yesterday, Beck responded to Graham with this: 

BECK: And yet Lindsey Graham comes out and Lindsey Graham gives a talk yesterday to, I guess this is a bunch of Republicans he's speaking to? There are a lot of things I'll wear as a badge of honor. Lindsey Graham hating my guts is probably the highest honor I've ever received. Judge me by my friends and judge me by my enemies. Thank you, Lindsey Graham.

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National Association of Undertakers Backs GOP Health Plan

Funeral Directors: 'Works for Us'

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - Congressional Republicans received key backing today for their health care plan, picking up support from the National Association of Undertakers.

The funeral directors' group, which represents undertakers, embalmers and hearse drivers across the country, gave the GOP plan a big thumbs up, saying in a press release, "Finally, a health care plan that works for us."

The endorsement from the undertakers' association was the second major endorsement in two days for the GOP plan, which yesterday picked up support from the National Association of Viruses and Bacteria. 

Keep reading: http://www.borowitzreport.com/article.aspx?ID=7059

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Mission accomplished for conservatives who rooted against America

Where do they find these people?

John McCormack, 11:38 am, announcing the Weekly Standard offices erupted in cheers when the US lost the Olympic bid:

 

John McCormack, seven hours later:

 

Actually, yeah, you moran. Cheering because your COUNTRY lost an Olympic bid because it might give you a fleeting moment of partisan gain is the dictionary definition of being unpatriotic. You really have to check the link, though- he actually uses the phrase "Obama's cowboy diplomacy."

BTW- it is pretty clear to anyone with an IQ above room temperature what is going on here. One of the uber patriots at the Weekly Standard realized how petty it made them look to be cheering America's defeat, so they edited out the part about the WS offices erupting in cheers, and then made him puke up some nonsense about loving Rio, the 1976 Olympics, and what not.

Did they hire this guy to make Goldfarb and Kristol look smart by comparison?

Also, conservatards gathered in Virginia for the American for Prosperity's Defending the American Dream Summit, immediately laughed and applauded when they heard the news.  

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You can always tell when Governor Perry forgets to wash his hands.

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The evil that was done in the name of our nation

From a commenter on Andrew Sullivan's blog:

I am surprised you did not highlight what me and my colleagues agreed was the single most horrifying passage from the Court's decision. It was the Court's quotation of something an interrogator said to al-Rabiah during his interrogation. The interrogator told al-Rabiah:

"There is nothing against you. But there is no innocent person here. So, you should confess to something so you can be charged and sentenced and serve your sentence and then go back to your family and country, because you will not leave this place innocent."

Court Memorandum and Order, p. 41 (emphasis mine).

This was not a statement pulled from the transcripts of the Nuremburg trials, nor archival evidence taken from reports smuggled out of one of Stalin's gulags. This was a statement made by an agent of this government less than 7 years ago to a detainee. The enormity of that is nearly incomprehensible.

But even worse – far worse – is the fact that the government would nevertheless still seek to convict based on the resulting confession.

To those of us who read that passage and who vowed and make it our vocation to serve and protect the Constitution of the United States, that fact is a gut-punch. For me and my colleagues, it literally took our breath away. It makes one wonder how far down into the abyss we have allowed ourselves to drop. And whether there is the political will to find our way out.

The Bush Administration was pure evil. We, the United States of America, tortured an innocent man in order to get him to confess to something that would excuse his arrest, detention and torture.

First point: Could the Bush Administration have sunk to any lower levels of depravity and immorality? 

Second: By not moving fast to clean this mess up, the Obama Administration is taking on the same stink of evil.

Third: To everyone who has been rationalizing and excusing the actions of the Bush Administration: The stink of this is all over you as well. You are the "good little Germans" of this mess. The Bush Administration was a cabal of evil. If you agree with what was done by them, if you have, to use a contract phrase, "adopted, ratified and approved" what they have done, you are a guilty and yes, as evil, as they are.

 

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If you claim to be the author of a book actually written by someone else, isn't that called 'plagiarism'?

 

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Great news during the flu season: Excreted Tamiflu found in rivers

The premier flu-fighting drug is contaminating rivers downstream of sewage-treatment facilities, researchers in Japan confirm. The source: urinary excretion by people taking oseltamivir phosphate, best known as Tamiflu.

Concerns are now building that birds, which are natural influenza carriers, are being exposed to waterborne residues of Tamiflu's active form and might develop and spread drug-resistant strains of seasonal and avian flu.