Headlines For Today: November 17

GOP Sen. Lindsey Graham running campaign ads on Benghazi tragedy

Poor Lindsey Graham. In less than eighteen months he'll be defeated in South Carolina's 2014 GOP primary. He is the number one target of the Club for Growth. He is talking tough about the UN Ambassador and yelling "Benghaz!" over and over again as if it is a magic word that will save him from doom. It won't help. Count Chocola wants his blood.

And this—more than anything else—explains every action Lindsey will take in the coming days, weeks and months.

And it helps to explain John McCain's bitter panic as well. Lindsey will be his last sycophant standing when the 113th Congress comes to town. Lindsey will be the last Senator left who will automatically treat everything McCain does as "awesome". McCain will do what he can to save his fanboy, but it will not matter. Even if they both went full Ni-CLANG on President Obama 24/7 (and they're both almost there), they will not be able to save poor old Lindsey from the wrath of the wingnuts.

Any journalist who treats either of these doddering old fools as relevant will prove themselves to be hacks. As there are so many hacks in the media, we can expect a lot of fluffing and tire swinging as McCain and his sidekick sink into oblivion. This is known.

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Why does the New York Times start to sound like a teenage girl's Facebook page whenever Israel gets into its next war? "You guys, Israel has it tough. That battlefield is changing, and the world is growing more dangerous. Leave Israel alone!"

I'm no expert in the Gaza conflict, and I certainly don't know enough to have a judgment about which side is "in the right". But I do know that that the minute Israel is involved in any military action, every US media outlet drops the guise of skeptical reporting and goes more all-in than some Israeli newspapers. That leaves me reading the Guardian, Al-Jazeera English and Haaretz to try to at least hear what Hamas has to say, and to see a few images of the hell that's being rained down on the other side of the fence.

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John Metz had plenty of choices if he wanted to express his displeasure with KenyanSocialistCare. He could have gone the Papa John route and announced in a huff that he would be raising prices on his crappy food. He could have threatened to lay people off but punked out after the election like the dodgy timeshare guy or actually followed through on the threat like the coal company asshole. But what Metz has done is perhaps even more despicable: He's encouraging customers to lower the income of people who are probably already barely scraping by. What a dick!

Here's the thing, though: While servers might seemingly have little power compared to muckety-mucks in the food service industry, they are frequently in control of the actual food, at least for brief periods of time. I used to be a server back in the day. I'm not proud of it, but I confess I horked a loogie on a plate or two. Always under extreme provocation, mind you.

I had server friends who did even worse. One young waiter of my acquaintance expressed his displeasure with a particularly irksome customer by removing her prime rib from the plate with a fork and dragging it around the rim of the horrendously dirty employee toilet while we, his coworkers, laughed and hooted. Then he placed it back on the plate next to the baked potato and sprig of parsley and served it.

I'm not saying this is right or proper. It's just the way it is. The "powerless" find ways to strike back. I don't know whether or not Metz eats at his own restaurants, but he might get more than Moons over his Hammy next time he's at Denny's. And it wouldn't surprise me if wait staff at more upscale joints decided to shake a few drops in Metz's bisque in solidarity should he seek sustenance elsewhere. It's just a bad idea to fuck with servers.

Here's a message from Fight Club.

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A federal judge Friday night sided with a Christian publishing company in a lawsuit against the requirement included in Obamacare to provide co-pay free contraception to employees. US District Court Judge Reggie B. Walton issued a temporary stay on the rule. The company, Tyndale House Publishers, sued to be exempt from providing any contraception it equated with abortion, including Plan B and intrauterine devices (neither is actually an abortifacient). While this has become a pet issue of the religious right, in actuality, religious institutions are exempt from contributing to contraception cost. Instead, insurance companies must provide birth control free of charge to employees of such institutions — a requirement that a majority of Americans support.