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Obama wants to open up drilling off the coast of Virginia for 6 days of oil.
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"Democrats said that they were called the 'N word,' but no one has any record of it. No witness saw it, it's not on camera, it's not on audio. There's a $10,000 reward for anyone who can produce a video or an audio. Don't you think we would have seen a video or an audio by now if there was something out there?" - Michelle Bachmann (R-Batshit) Link
"I too offer a $10,000 reward for anyone producing audio or video of Jesus performing a miracle. And there is another $10,000 for anyone producing tape of Columbus' landing in the New World. If one cannot produce a tape of an event, then it could not possibly have happened." - Mario Piperni, Link
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What's the point?
When I see shit like this, I wonder why we bother:
Most Americans think that the Democrats not only did something illegitimate by passing health care reform on a party line vote, it was so illegitimate that they were asking for violence and vandalism by doing it. Good to know.
I guess you really can't fix stupid.
It has become seriously disenchanting to be an American lately. It's obvious that our people don't give a damn about the substance of anything. We've had some quite serious problems in this country but I think the refusal of a good portion of the American people to use their brains borders on a national dysfunction.
If that's the case, then our democratic system of government is effectively dead. Any minority party can simply block all legislation, make up a bunch of bullshit about "tactics," threaten them with violence and the people will back them. (Unless they are Democrats, of course, in which case they will be told the "elections have consequences" and be called obstructionists who refuse to allow the governing party the room they need to govern.)
We can't survive this way for long. I just hope I'm gone before the real decline begins. The end won't be pretty. In a century, the American Empire will be just another chapter in the history books.
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Lemme see if I get it - this brain dead buncha batcrap crazy wingier-than-wingnut phony xtians thinks the government is the cause of all their troubles and were plotting to destroy it by killing a coupla cops and starting a civil war. Yeah, like that was gonna happen. The last time I can think of that a 'general uprising' was planned was the Tet Offensive in '68. Didn't work then either, but I don't guess these clowns read much history. These ying-yangs' thinking was probably closer to Charles Manson's Helter Skelter. So when they get caught, instead of being cut down in a shitstorm of po-leece lead on the spot or up against a wall, or being Gitmo'd like the terrorists they are, they are now relying on said taxpayer-funded government to protect the same Constitutional rights they accuse the same government of trying to destroy. Through their mental fog they seem to understand that a free-market lawyer costs money they ain't got because no reputable employer will have anything to do with them because they're idiots and God seems to not be answering their call for Him to provide because He is hiding his face in shame that He made them in his own image because they're idiots. Hey, even the Almighty has a few warranty problems. Is that about right?
Who says irony is dead?
The real irony will be when the Public Defender, most of whom have better conviction rates than the District Attorney, gets 'em off. Heh.
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Morford: What Jesus reads when he's naked
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Sadly, Al Gore is still fat, so I'm not sure anyone will care
I'm sure the media and right wing blogs will give this the same amount of attention they gave the climate change denialists will ignore this completely:
The UK scientist at the center of the "Climategate" controversy over leaked e-mails has been cleared of hiding or manipulating data by a parliamentary committee. But lawmakers who had been investigating the row over global warming science said in a report published Wednesday that climate scientists must publish all their raw data and methods to ensure the research is "irreproachable."
***
The Commons report said the leaked emails suggested a "blunt refusal" by Jones to share scientific data but its chairman Phil Willis said there was no evidence that Jones hid or manipulated data to back up his own science.
If the NY Times behavior in the ACORN case is any example, I'm pretty sure they will get around to clarifying their part in the climate change denialist binge around the time Manhattan is submerged by ten feet of sea water. And, in fairness, if they continue to employ Douthat, Brooks, and Friedman, I'm ok with that outcome.
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When an election is ACTUALLY stolen (not the ridiculous claims made by teabaggers that the all-powerful ACORN (which was all too easily toppled by a 25-year-old punk) somehow managed to get enough poor people to vote to give Barack Obama 56% of the vote in 2008), you don't just move on. Because the same people who stole the 2004 election will do it again if they have to in order to regain power.
Brad Jacobson has a devastating series (Parts one and two) about how a FEC commissioner helped the Republican Party hide its role in vote suppression in the 2004 election.
A little taste before you go read it: http://brilliantatbreakfast.blogspot.com/2010/04/nothing-to-see-here-just-move-onmove.html
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If this is the false packaging they use now, imagine if they actually get her elected
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Newsflash: Chimpy broke the law!
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Bill Donohue: "It's not pedophilia because the victims were post-pubescent." He actually says that. And then he tries to blame The Gays for the Catholic priest abuses.
Yesterday:
The Obama administration is proposing to open vast expanses of water along the Atlantic coastline, the eastern Gulf of Mexico and the north coast of Alaska to oil and natural gas drilling, much of it for the first time, officials said Tuesday.
The proposal is intended to reduce dependence on oil imports, generate revenue from the sale of offshore leases and help win political support for comprehensive energy and climate legislation.
Today:
Boehner rebukes Obama offshore drilling plan via The Hill
Sarah Palin responds with a pair of tweets. In the first, she writes, "Drill, baby, drill." In the second, she praises Boehner's response and admonishes Obama for trying to win over conservative votes for an energy overhaul:
When is President Carebear going to realize that the GOP will not ever lift a finger to help? They are only interested in trying to destroy you, Carebear. And now you have completely alienated the left (again) by selling out progressives (again) who care about the environment for a mouthfull of ashes, (again).
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Payback
Obama will only ruin the coasts of red states
So is there any correlation between today's presidential announcement about drilling, baby, drilling for oil off these specific sections of America's Coastlines? Ha ha, well yes, there is. States that voted for John McCain get to enjoy oil spills and coastal devastation. Not that they're the kind of people who own swimwear or go to beaches or swim or whatever. But what about Virginia? It went Red for Bob McDonnell last November, and McDonnell loves him some oil drillin'! Enjoy that, Virginia! MORE »
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We had eight years of Bush and Cheney and NOW you get mad?
Who's the fascist commie socialist Hitler-lover NOW, huh?
You didn't get mad when the Supreme Court stopped a legal recount and appointed a President.
You didn't get mad when Cheney allowed energy company officials to dictate energy policy.
You didn't get mad when a covert CIA operative got outed.
You didn't get mad when the Patriot Act got passed.
You didn't get mad when we illegally invaded a country that posed no threat to us.
You didn't get mad when we spent over 600 billion (and counting) on said illegal war.
You didn't get mad when over 10 billion dollars just disappeared in Iraq .
You didn't get mad when you found out we were torturing people.
You didn't get mad when the government was illegally wiretapping Americans.
You didn't get mad when we didn't catch Bin Laden.
You didn't get mad when you saw the horrible conditions at Walter Reed.
You didn't get mad when we let a major US city, New Orleans , drown.
You didn't get mad when we gave a 900 billion tax break to the rich.
You didn't get mad when the deficit hit the trillion dollar mark.
You didn't get mad when the president ignored the clear and timely warning that terrorists were going to hijack planes and fly them into the WTC.
You didn't get mad when the weapons inspectors, who said there were no WMDs, were ignored.
You didn't get mad when hundreds of thousands of people died in Iraq .
You finally got mad when the government decided that people in America deserved the right to see a doctor if they are sick. Yes, illegal wars, lies, corruption, torture, stealing your tax dollars to make the rich richer, are all okay with you, but helping other Americans... oh hell no.
-- From here and here. They didn't get mad when Dumbyah said the Constitution was "just a goddamn piece of paper," either. 
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Fresh from his groundbreaking theory about the lazy Jews ("Why didn't Jews show any understanding of evil by making hobbit books during the Holocaust?"), New York Times creepy blogger Ross Douthat has stumbled upon yet another unique thought, this time about all the Catholic priests fucking little children forever. Could it be that somehow liberals are to blame for this, too, because heterosexual non-clergy adults perhaps had sex outside of marriage during the 1970s, the "Nixon Decade"? MORE »
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The criminal actions of the church
We teach our children to not be afraid to speak up when they suspect or are victims of abuse, and yet…
They were deaf, but they were not silent. For decades, a group of men who were sexually abused as children by the Rev. Lawrence C. Murphy at a school for the deaf in Wisconsin reported to every type of official they could think of that he was a danger, according to the victims and church documents.
They told other priests. They told three archbishops of Milwaukee. They told two police departments and the district attorney. They used sign language, written affidavits and graphic gestures to show what exactly Father Murphy had done to them. But their reports fell on the deaf ears of hearing people.
When will society stop treating clergy and religious institutions as entities beyond the reach of the law? Lawrence Murphy should have been treated as any other child molester. Lawrence Murphy should have spent his last days behind prison bars or at the least, in a facility for the mentally ill.
As for Pope Benedict and every other person who had knowledge of the abuse and chose to keep silent, they are as criminally responsible for the deed as the man who performed it.
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And be sure to check here too.
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C-Span caller: "what's with all the negroes?"
I'm hoping this is just a joke.
A caller to C-Span, who identified himself as a Republican from North Carolina, accused the network of taking too many phone calls from black people.
"You have black folks calling in on the Republican line, independents. And you have so many of 'em I can't believe this is just an accident. If you keep on with the way you've been programming, you should change your name from C-Span to Black-Span," he said. "I know they have an opinion but I wish that they would be honest and call in on the right line."
You know, the line at the back of the bus.
Tarnation! There ain't no way a n****r kin be a republican! Shee-it! Gawd.
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GOP to Dems: "f**k your civility campaign"
The Republican National Committee has rejected a proposal from Democrats to sign a joint statement that would have called for "elected officials of both parties to set an example of the civility we want to see in our citizenry."
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The party of personal responsibility
December: Sarah Palin leaves Hawaiian vacation over "McCain visor" publicity.
March: Sarah Palin left Hawaiian vacation over daughter's breaking, entering, partying, and causing more than $20,000 in damages.
Spoiled Palin spawn avoids criminal charges thanks to her bootstrappy, real-American wholesome, average hockey-mom:
According to sources close to the Alaska State troopers there was a secret weekend meeting. This meeting took place between the Palins and some very highly placed people involved in the juvenile justice department. Directly after this secret meeting the word came down to the juvenile justice probation officer that ONLY the boys who had participated would be charged with the crime. Willow Palin and the girls would only be identified as "witnesses" and face no criminal penalties.
This has made the State Troopers and those working in the juvenile justice department very, very unhappy. But there was nothing they could do, the Palins had connections, and for them apparently the law simply did not apply.
Welp, THAT's certainly not a segment we'll see on Bible Spice's wholesome and patriotic new television show.
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Subject: Athiests vs Christians..hell all religions
Bart:
Do Atheists shoot up Family Planning Clinics and murder doctors?
Do Atheists murder homosexuals?
Do Atheists protest at military funerals saying we get what we deserve because of gays?
Do Atheists defend hurricanes by saying we get what we deserve because of gays?
Do Atheists rape children because they are in a position to do so?
Do Atheists try to murder police at a police funeral because they don't like government?
The list goes on and on.
Lisa
Atheists don't do thoise things because there's no book and no Invisible Cloud Being telling us we have to do those things.
Ask a religious man why he hates gays and he'll say, "Because God says we have to."
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Wyoming: the compensation state
Rep. Colin M. Simpson
Speaker of the House
Wyoming House of Representatives
Dear Speaker Simpson,
According to the contraceptive store chain, Condomania, Wyoming owns the dubious distinction of having the tiniest penises in America. They sell a higher percentage of their smallest "TheyFit" condoms in the Cowboy State than anywhere else. The smallest size, by the way, is three inches long.
That can't be good for tourism.
Thankfully, you also rank at the top of another, more important, category: gun ownership. According to the Center For Disease Control's Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System, 59.7% of Wyomingites own at least one firearm. So while your penises may be ultra-mini, you're guns are big and plentiful.
There has to be a way to market your gun ownership in a way that offsets your penis shame. Perhaps you could come up with a slogan for a bumper sticker or tee shirt--maybe something like "Wyoming: Big Guns, Small Penises," "At Least our Guns are Big Enough for Jackson Hole," or better yet, a picture of a gun overlaid on a map of the state with the words, "I dare you to say I have a small cock?"
Or maybe you could just change your state nickname to "The Compensation State."
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
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Secretary of the Army Gen. John McHugh says he will no longer expel soldiers under DADT.
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The gay president
The Family Research Council…
[I]f it was argued during his two terms in office that Bill Clinton was "our first black President" because of his supposed liberal policies that would benefit African-Americans (though I'm not quite sure what President Clinton did, that he wasn't forced to do, that would benefit any minority except for Chinese monks with political donations to spend.) With that argument shouldn't Barack Obama already be our "first gay President" due to his liberal policies pushing the homosexual agenda?
Yeah, right morons, Obama is the first gay president. Good one.
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