Friday, April 1, 2011

Headlines - Friday April 1

Funny April Fool's Day Ecard: Just a warning that on April Fool's Day my natural distrust of others will be ratcheted up to a level bordering on psychosis.


This year, GoDaddy CEO Bob Parsons went on an African vacation and shot an elephant. He recorded the whole thing on video. 

Such a manly man. And perhaps the scummiest CEO.


The old joke goes that most people can't find whatever country the United States is at war with on a map.

Same seems to be true for Rep. Tom Marino (R-PA), a freshman congressman who also sits on the House Foreign Affairs Committee. He's quoted in the Times-Tribune questioning President Obama's Libya strategy, and lack of deference to Congress.

"The bottom line is I wish the president would have told us, talked to Congress about what is the plan. Is there a plan? Is the mission to take Gadhafi out?" Mr. Marino asked.... "Where does it stop?" he said. "Do we go into Africa next? I don't want to sound callous or cold, but this could go on indefinitely around the world."

Yes, Libya is in Africa.


Paul LePage, America's greatest governor of rats.

Teabagger-piglet Paul LePage, who somehow became governor of Maine this year despite winning just 38% of the vote, has been aggressively trying to destroy the public worker unions as per his instructions from the Tea Party (Koch Industries). Just to make sure everyone knew he was going to be an incredible jackass in this attack on the people of Maine, LePage decided the labor history mural in the state's Department of Labor building was, well, labor oriented. And everybody (Koch Industries) knows that's a very bad thing, for American workers to be fairly compensated for their labor. So portly wingnut Paul LePage had this 36-foot-long mural ripped out, and then he hid it in an "undisclosed location," and now it turns out he illegally violated the terms of the contract with the mural's artist. READ MORE »


And we won't come back till it's over over there.

Remember when President Obama made that speech about how the war in Libya was such a small war you could barely see it, and it was pretty much over and done with anyway, so you can go back to watching (your one life on Earth fade away while you watch) Dancing with the Stars? That wasn't exactly correct. But hey, what's an American war without the president lying about it? Obama was just being patriotic and paying tribute to the great leaders who came before him! (Namely, right before him.) While the CIA is flooding Libya with agents trying to simultaneously figure out how to help the rebels and learn who these people even are, it turns out Obama already authorized heavy arms shipments to them. The turd sandwich has been placed in the microwave, and it's HEATING UP.

President Barack Obama has signed a secret order authorizing covert U.S. government support for rebel forces seeking to oust Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi, government officials told Reuters on Wednesday.

Obama signed the order, known as a presidential "finding", within the last two or three weeks, according to government sources familiar with the matter.

Well somebody was planning ahead!

Sending in weapons would arguably violate an arms embargo on Libya by the U.N. Security Council imposed on February 26, although British, U.S. and French officials have suggested there may be a loophole.

There's always a loophole for illegal wars: It's called "being America." FUCK YEAH!

In addition, the American spies are meeting with rebels to try to fill in gaps in understanding who their leaders are and the allegiances of the groups opposed to Colonel Qaddafi, said United States government officials, speaking on the condition of anonymity because of the classified nature of the activities. American officials cautioned, though, that the Western operatives were not directing the actions of rebel forces.

Yet. So who are these rebels we may soon be trusting with our advanced weapons and running this country?

The briefers told Congress they are a loose-knit, localized and factionalized opposition lacking the basic military necessities of command, control and communication, according to lawmakers who attended the briefings, one for the House and one for the Senate, in an auditorium beneath the Capitol.


Look, we're already in this war. We're already committed to taking down Gaddafi, whether Obama admits it publicly or not. So instead of doing things on the cheap and hoping they work out, why don't we just invade and make sure a stable government is set up? Yes, that means doing this. But what happens when we've armed rebels like this in the past? This. Hmm. A turd sandwich indeed! [Reuters/Politico

Shaken, not stirred - Remember last summer when BP's life blood was destroying the Gulf Coast and Bubba Jindal was having photo-op after photo-op and looking serious, while insisting that everything was fine? Me neither! Anyway, Mike Worley who processes oil spill damage claims for BP is holding a $1,000 per plate cocktail party for Jindal. That's a lot of high-octane shrimp. (
Yesterday, CNN delivered some bad news for teabaggers -- turns out no one likes them.
political pictures - pope - catholic - His Jet Runs on Guilt
Drill baby, drill!
President Barack Obama has continued his morphing into George W. Bush this week with a speech today calling for expanded oil drilling — a departure from his promise to focus on renewable energy. Tell me who this sounds like: "Producing more oil in America can help lower oil prices, can help create jobs and can enhance our energy security."
Uh oh: looks like gays are not the only abomination in the bible!
Catholic League Vs. Macy's

The Catholic League is pissed at Macy's for the above display window promoting Showtime's upcoming series, The Borgias, which was "written by an atheist who hates the Catholic Church." Bill Donohue: "Why Macy's would want to pick a fight with Catholics during the Lenten season is not known, but that it has is certain." Wikipedia's entry on the Borgia family, one of whom became Pope, notes: "They have been accused of many different crimes, including adultery, simony, theft, rape, bribery, incest, and murder." Which is the real reason Donohue hates seeing the series promoted.

Montana GOP Rep Defends Drunk Drivers (while wearing a clip-on Kentucky colonel tie)
PZ Meyers: The tea party isn't racist, no sir.
political pictures - wisconsin - sean duffy - Please Give
Florida GOP: The word "uterus" is "inappropriate for children and other guests."
On December 23, 2010, Shuai, a 34-year-old pregnant woman who was suffering from a major depressive disorder, attempted to take her own life. Friends found her in time and persuaded her to get help. Six days later, Shuai underwent cesarean surgery and delivered a premature newborn girl who, tragically, died four days later.

On March 14, 2011, Shuai was arrested, jailed, and charged with murder and attempted feticide.

What about the poor people who elected you, moron?
This guy: has clearly forgotten that he is supposed to now be a "public servant", which means that he is an employee of the people of his district. I'm sure some of those people are poor. Now, is he saying that rich people gave him his current job as a legislator? If so, is he saying that they bought him a Congressional seat and that he is a bought and paid for Congressman?

Inquiring minds want to know.
Two cops killing an unarmed civilian after Hurricane Katrina and then putting the body in a car and torching it = 17 and 25 year sentences. 
I wonder what the punishment would have been if a black man had killed two white police officers.
Ignore the facade of moronic over-reaching: the repugs are winning, and winning big.

From Think Progress:
Rick Scott Is A Total Douche

Okay, okay, that's not the real headline.  Sometimes the real headline doesn't do the subject real justice.  My apologies to Think Progress but I like this one better.


If you had any doubt that the modern incarnation of the GOP is more a crime syndicate than it is a political party, this ought to clear that misconception up for you:

Republicans have launched an assault on AARP, which joins a growing list of groups supportive of the Democrats' agenda that are being targeted by conservatives.

House Republicans on the Ways and Means Committee on Wednesday released a report that accuses the influential senior citizens organization of having a conflict of interest because it will financially benefit from the health care overhaul that the group heavily lobbied for last year. AARP collects royalties from endorsing health insurance policies and other products.

The report, which also notes the generous salary and travel benefits of AARP executives, questions the tax-exempt status of the organization; the Members are forwarding the report to the IRS for review.

"This is about whether this entity is misrepresenting itself to seniors," said Rep. Charles Boustany (R-La.), chairman of the Ways and Means Subcommittee on Oversight. He was joined by Rep. Wally Herger (R-Calif.), chairman of the Ways and Means Subcommittee on Health, and Rep. Dave Reichert (R-Wash.) at a Capitol press conference to discuss the findings of the 18-month investigation. The Ways and Means panel will hold an oversight hearing Friday on AARP's organizational structure and finances.

A GOP lobbyist suggested that the report is part of a pattern of House Republicans going after groups that worked against them on key legislation when they were out of power.

You have to keep paying your protection money, even when the Don is in the Pen, apparently.

And the republicans are sending a message, and it is coming across -- Don't even think about working with Democrats on anything, ever, or when we get back in power, we will make you pay.

They are thugs and bullies, and they no longer even pretend to hide it.

And we also know that there is only one way to deal with thugs and bullies. You have to call their bluff and stand up to them. No matter what you give them, it will never be enough and they will always come back for more, until there's nothing left to give and then they will burn your store down anyway.

The only way to beat them is to stand up to them. Something tells me that senior citizens aren't going to be too keen on having the AARP targeted for petty political reasons, and they vote.

At least until the republicans disenfranchise them once and for all...  


Hard to argue with that face.

Most conservatives hate everything President Obama does. But they love war. Love it! They would go to war with half the world if they had a Republican president in office who would let them. So the cognitive dissonance has been pretty tough on this Libya thing. On the one hand, evil Kenyan! On the other hand, look at all those sexy bombs we're dropping on the brown people! But finally Rep. Louie Gohmert figured out why Obama seems to also like war a lot right now: he's secretly HURTING our military so he can create troops made entirely out of health care reform. Nooooo! That health care reform is poison! They're going to be poison troops! (But also THANK GOD. This means Republicans aren't REALLY opposing an actual war. Just health care for people who desperately need it.) READ MORE »


'He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as quasi-people, will get to the Promised Land.'

Because a state lawmaker read "a magazine article on such practices in China and India," Arizona is set to ban abortions made on the basis of the race or sex of the fetus.

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