Four of our friends shot themselves cleaning loaded guns this week, two of whom soon afterward departed this life. Two law enforcement officers were involved in GunFAIL episodes. Three people were injured in two accidents while target shooting, and one gent was fatally shot by his lady friend whom he was teaching to use firearms safely, which in hindsight might have been better accomplished without the assistance of alcohol and marijuana, but Freedom being what it is these days, I really shouldn't judge.
This week also brought us news of this year's second gunshot injury sustained during an unsuccessful attempt to shoot a raccoon, though it's true that as a matter of policy I do not report on how many raccoons have been successfully shot.
On a more somber note, the minor victims of GunFAIL this week included three 5-year-olds, one 9-year-old, two 12-year-olds, two 13-year-olds, two 16-year-olds, one 17-year-old, one teen of unknown age, and one young boy of unknown age. One of the 12-year-olds and the 9-year-old were the victims of the recent homicide-suicide tragedy in which the older boy is believed to have killed himself after possibly accidentally shooting his younger brother.
Find this week's report here.
So there's just one thing to do, ladies of Ohio: Start sending your used tampons and other sanitary products to John Kasich. Tell him that under Ohio law you are simply complying with the law that makes every fertilized egg a person and you want to make sure you do the right thing. You may end up in jail, but you can take comfort in knowing that confession of your crime is good for the soul.