Headlines - Sunday May 15

Bill Maher: If you rejoice in torture and war, you're not a christian.

 

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The elderly pedophile-protector in fabulous drag really has nothing.

 

We are not anti anybody; we are pro-marriage. The definition of marriage is a given: it is a lifelong union of love and fidelity leading, please God, to children, between one man and one woman. History, Natural Law, the Bible (if you're so inclined), the religions of the world, human experience, and just plain gumption tell us this is so. The definition of marriage is hardwired into our human reason. To uphold that traditional definition, to strengthen it, and to defend it is not a posture of bigotry or bullying. Nor is it a denial of the "right" of anybody. As the philosophers remind us, in a civilized, moral society, we have the right to do what we ought, not to do whatever we want. Not every desire is a right. To tamper with that definition, or to engage in some Orwellian social engineering about the nature and purpose of marriage, is perilous to all of us. If the definition of marriage is continually being altered, could it not in the future be morphed again to include multiple spouses or even family members?

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The main reason the National Museum of Patriotism is so popular is that no one ever has to stand in line to get in.

 

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One can always count on Newt Gingrich to say the darndest things. 

GINGRICH: President Obama is the most successful food stamp president in American history. [...] I would like to be the most successful paycheck president in American history.

Swell guy isn't he?

As ThinkProgress points out, Newt Gingrich was the king of pork spending while he was a member of congress:

[Gingrich] represents Cobb County, a prosperous jurisdiction that ranks third among suburban counties in federal dollars returned per resident. According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, the federal government spent $4.4 billion in Cobb County in 1994, some $10,000 per resident, or nearly twice as much per capita as it spent in New York City.

Oh glorious Big Federal Government Cash™

Aside from the glaring hypocrisy, I believe Mister Gingrich is under the impression that the tired old "welfare queen" argument, which he parroted in the 90s, is going to work again. It won't.

It's true that record numbers of people are currently receiving food stamps, but that wouldn't be necessary if not for the dung-heap of an economy Gingrich's own party left behind for Democrats to clean up.

Newt Gingrich is an official contender for the Republican nomination now, so I say keep going! You're doing great!

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Ron Paul (Racist - TX) would not have voted for the 1964 Civil Rights Act

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Attorney General Eric Holder explains that the Bin Laden assassination was not an assassination because he could have surrendered if he'd done it really really quickly before all those bullets hit him, and that the assassination was completely legal under international law (no one asked Holder whether it was legal under Pakistani law).

And he explained what separates us from those who we are fighting: "I actually think that the dotting of the i's and the crossing of the t's is what separates the United States, the United Kingdom, our allies, from those who we are fighting." He did not clarify what we use to dot the i's and cross the t's. I'm guessing bullets and blood respectively.

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Wired: Why the hard line with hackers and the soft touch for the people who lost trillions of dollars and caused the recession?

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The Palestinian youth didn't live in a glass house, so he felt free to throw stones.

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High schooler challenges Michele Bachmann to Constitution showdown 

This will likely be the end result of any debate between Bachmann and anyone else.

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Are you a dictator of a small nation? Are your people demonstrating in the streets? 

Oh, you probably would like to deploy troops to gun those ungrateful fuckers down. But your cops and soldiers may not be as eager to gun down people from their own neighborhoods and tribes as you are.

You've got a problem.

Don't worry. Erik Prince has your back. He's already formed a battalion of gun thugs for the United Arab Emirates.

Given the arrogance and trigger-happy bloodthirstiness shown by Blackwater's mercenaries in Iraq and Afghanistan, the UAE is playing with fire by hiring Prince to set up and run a battalion of goons.

 

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The Palestinian boy was on the verge of saying, 'Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness', but he didn't speak English, so he remained silent.

 

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Orange-hued Speaker of the House, Weepy lives up to his nickname, as he starts weeping while giving some lame-ass commencement speech in South Succotash (St. Ronnie's words, not mine). All it takes is for him to mention his coach (drinking team? Yes.) and the water works come on… and nothing streaks.

 

Can you imagine if Nancy Pelosi had been such a crybaby?

 

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Remember last spring when President Carebear announced new off-shore drilling initiatives and immediately afterwards BP destroyed the Gulf of Mexico? Me Neither!

Anyway, the Carebear is announcing that the government will step-up selling oil rights in Alaska, BP better get some warm clothes before they destroy Wasilla or whatever.

(AFP)

New Rule: Anyone who doesn't understand - or pretends to not understand - that oil is an international commodity independent of its geographical source  - is not to be taken seriously on the subject of oil.

And any elected official who so much as implies that "increasing domestic production" of oil has a positive effect on anything except the already obscene profits of Exxon Mobil and the rest of Big Oil is, not to put too fine a point on it, lying.

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Nancy Pelosi to House GOP: Don't like the tenor at the Town Halls? Get over yourselves, you WATB.

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Oral Snatch stands up for those poor, picked on oil company executives.

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The Beltway Media, for whom no Republican is stupid enough, wrong enough, bat-sh#t crazy enough not to give legitimacy. Look at this line up and tell me I'm wrong. We live in a right wing world, according to the bookers of the Sunday news shows. Where are the Democrats? Do we not have a Democratic majority in the Senate and a Democrat in the White House? Wouldn't know it from these shows. Nope, there's an information filter bubble that we can directly point out as endangering our democracy.

ABC's "This Week" - Gov. Nikki Haley, R-S.C.; Sheila Bair, head of the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp.

NBC's "Meet the Press" - Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, R-Ga.

NBC's "The Chris Matthews Show" - Panel: Norah O'Donnell, Howard Fineman, Michael Duffy, Katty Kay. Topics: Which leading GOP candidate has the political chops to conquer his flaw? Is the cost of a college education still worth the price?

CBS' "Face the Nation" - House Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio.

CNN's "State of the Union" - Sen. Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., and Rep. Paul Ryan, R-Wis.

CNN's "Fareed Zakaria GPS" - American leadership, Condoleezza Rice and Eric Schmidt

"Fox News Sunday" - Rep. Ron Paul, R-Texas; Sens. Dick Durbin, D-Ill., and Jon Kyl, R-Ariz.