January 23

NRA: Obama Is Ruining Christmas By Tracking Stolen Guns

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Texas Republicans Call For More Guns In Schools Following Shooting At Lone Star College

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Why Obama's Second Inaugural Was Not A 'Far Left' Speech, In One Graphic

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House Republican Leader Blames Gun Violence On 'Welfare Moms'

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Texas Schools Implement Carefully Crafted Law By Teaching Bible As 100% Fact

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If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will shoot their own peckers off

Guns don't kill penises, people kill penises:

A security guard is hospitalized in the city of San Fernando in the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago after accidentally discharging his weapon and shooting off his penis. According to the Trinidad and Tobago Guardian, the unnamed 33-year-old man was carrying a .38 caliber handgun in his pocket when it went off, striking him in the groin.

Police in the town of Rio Claro received a call around 8:00 a.m. on Sunday that witnesses had heard a shot coming from a parked car. Officers responding to the scene found the driver slumped at the wheel and bleeding from the injured area.

Hokay, first of all, ouch. Wonkette is very sorry for what this man is going through and we are not making fun of him, honest. That being said, the only way to stop a bad penis with a gun is with a good penis with a gun, so maybe if we posted armed penises in all pubic public places, then everybody would be safe. READ MORE »

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TED NUGENT AND HIS BUDDIES WOULD LIKE TO RE-ENACT THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR FOR YOU

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The duration of U.S. wars in months. Afghanistan is our first 13-year war. World War I lasted 2.

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"What we have is the President who is not the President of the United States, he is president of the divided states and he relishes in dividing the states among each other. He has this famous speech that he gave during a Democratic convention several years ago when he was a state senator and he talks about 'there's not red states and blue states but the United States of America,' that's not this President. This President runs to divide people, to divide and conquer and ultimately dismantle and deconstruct. He's doing that with morality, he's doing it with marriage, he's trying to divide and conquer. Really, he is the most immoral president that we've ever had in history, pushing an immorality that is stunning." - Liberty Counsel president Mat Staver, speaking on national Christian radio.

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A Brooklyn judge today meted out a harsh sentence against the Hasidic leader who was convicted last month on 59 felony counts of child molestation.

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What could go wrong?

In the history of bad ideas, this one ranks pretty high.

[O]ne South Carolina lawmaker is taking the NRA's "more guns will keep schools safe" argument even further, with a new bill that would teach teenagers how to shoot.

Sen. Lee Bright (R), the sponsor of the legislation, argues that "the more guns we have the safer we are." "[H]ad there been someone in Newtown with a weapon, had it been a teacher, they could have stopped it early," Bright explained. His bill would allow schools to offer gun training at an off-site location

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Bright says he got the idea after hearing from older constituents who "remembered the days" when students could join a rifle team or learn about shooting during a school day. "We've got football, we've got basketball, and we've got baseball," says Bright. "I think if they had a hunting team, it would be a great idea."

Ah, yes, the good old days. Days when we did not have over 300 million guns in circulation including assault rifles with high-capacity magazines.

Do we really want to train possibly-unstable, sometimes-rebellious teenagers how to shoot?

Can we trust teenagers not to open fire in the midst of a melee? Can we trust teenagers not to shoot each other after engaging in a heated argument, or when a relationship turns sour?

And who would pay for this? Can we spare money to offer a shooting class, but not to properly educate students in math and science? Can we not afford to hire enough teachers to reduce class sizes, but spare enough to hire someone to teach kids how to shoot guns? Who will take responsibility when a student accidentally shoots himself in school?

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Mitch McConnell is very afraid. Not of non-existent "gun grabbers," but of his chances of being reelected. And in a campaign email sent to his constituents soliciting their support, he jammed as much fear and doom as he possibly could.

Dear Patriot,

You and I are literally surrounded. The gun-grabbers in the Senate are about to launch an all-out-assault on the Second Amendment. On your rights. On your freedom.

Just the other night, President Obama urged them to act. And then he went one step further, spelling out the 23 different Executive Orders he will take to get your guns.

My friend, our freedom is under direct assault.

From those who want take your guns. From those who want to shred our Constitution, and as our good in friend Rand Paul from Kentucky says, from those who want to be King.

Let me tell you, Mitch McConnell is ready to lead the fight to protect your rights. Will you stand with Mitch today?

Mitch McConnell, the minority leader of the U.S. Senate, knows the president didn't sign orders to "get your guns" (this email even reflects the language his constituents speak).

Telling your constituents that they are "literally surrounded" and that the president is signing orders to snatch their guns because he wants to be King is not just irresponsible. It's dangerous. And he would like for you to make a small contribution to his campaign today so that he may protect you from the evildoer Obama.

As a Kentucky native, I can tell you beyond any doubt that there are voters in the state who will believe every single word. They may even rush out and buy another gun or two just to be safe. And the next time a routine traffic stop or an unrelated charge results in a dead law enforcement officer, he will have had a hand in fostering the environment that lead to it.

The gun lobby thanks him.