Thursday, January 31, 2013

January 31

Missouri Bill Would Require All First Graders To Take NRA-Sponsored Gun Class



 "I want you teabaggers out there to understand one thing: while you idolize the Founding Fathers and dress up like them, and smell like them, I think it's pretty clear that the Founding Fathers would have hated your guts. And what's more, you would've hated them. They were everything you despise. They studied science, read Plato, hung out in Paris and thought the Bible was mostly bulls**t." –Bill Maher


"I want to just take a moment to thank the Teabaggers. Thank you so much for helping us pass health care, for resurrecting the Obama presidency. I know they're saying, 'Why are you thanking me? I was so against it, I marched on Washington with tea bags hanging off my Founding Fathers costume, with a gun on my hip and a picture of Obama dressed as Hitler, screaming about his birth certificate.' And America saw that and said, 'I think I'll go with the calm black man.'" –Bill Maher



A man claiming to be a pastor apparently tried to stiff a waiter on a tip, explaining that hiswork under God absolved him of having to leave one.


BP gets away with murder - We both know the reason, don't we? Link

According to various news reports, BP has reached a deal with the Department of Justice 
and agreed to pay a piddly-ass  fine in addition to pleading guilty to gross misconduct in the 
2010 Deepwater Horizon gulf oil disaster.

Gross misconduct?
You mean like when you get caught mooning someone?

Is that what BP did to us?  They f-ing mooned us? 
And now they're sorry and they've learned their lesson?

The AP reports BP (The corporation) will also plead guilty to obstruction "for lying to Congress 
about how many billions of spewing oil were killing Gulf wildlife." 

Excuse me, but "BP" didn't tell any lies.
BP employees told those lies to make more money.
Why do they get a free pass and poker players don't?

The agreement was reportedly made in exchange for Three Magic Beans.  BP tried to get away with just paying One Magic Bean
but Obama the Prosecutor insisted on this cold, harsh penalty.

As always Bart's Law #2 applies.
Any time a person or entity makes a "mistake" that puts extra money (or power) in their pocket,  
expect them to make that "mistake" again and again and again.  

Why would ANY oil company EVER bother to comply with those stupid American laws?
Just include the four-cents-on-the-dollar "penalty" in your pricing and you're bullet-proof.

"Eric?  Raid some more poker games..."


The fact that federal spending cuts were the primary factor driving today's grim economic growth report makes it clear that moving forward with the sequester's draconian spending cuts would be a complete disaster. This is not something that Republicans want to get blamed for, but unfortunately for House Speaker John Boehner, the only way he got House Republicans to agree to raise the debt limit was by promising to enforce the spending sequester. So now he's in a bit of a trap: He has to defend the sequester at the same time that he has to deny responsibility for it.

Here's how his office tried to accomplish that balancing act today:

"These arbitrary, automatic cuts were a creation and demand of the White House in 2011," said Brendan Buck, a spokesman for Speaker of the House John Boehner in response to Carney's comments. "Twice the House has passed legislation to replace them with common sense cuts and reforms. If there was any uncertainty late last year about the sequester, it was because the Democratic-controlled Senate, per usual, never lifted a finger to pass a plan to replace it."
Actually, the truth is that the Senate has offered plenty of ways to achieve the same level of deficit reduction as the sequester—it's just that doing so would raise taxes, and Republicans refuse to do that. So it's not that the Senate hasn't lifted a finger, it's that House Republicans don't like the Senate's ideas.

Beyond that, however, there's no eternal rule that says the House couldn't just suspend the sequester indefinitely. The fact that they are insisting on equivalent cuts means that one way or another they are the ones insisting on the sequester.

Boehner's spokesman says the White House is the reason the sequester was created in the first place, back in 2011. But the truth is that Republicans were the ones pushing for the massive spending cuts—the president was trying to figure out how to keep the government running the face of GOP obstruction, and the sequester is what we ended up with.

That being said, what difference does it make who came up with the idea in 2011? It's 2013: What matters is what happens now. The GOP has within its power the ability to put aside the sequester—if it so chooses. If it doesn't, the most logical explanation is that John Boehner was telling the truth when he said this in August of 2011 after passing the debt ceiling deal that created the sequester in the first place:

When you look at this final agreement that we came to with the White House, I got 98 percent of what I wanted. I'm pretty happy.
Republicans created our fiscal nightmare. They can still fix it, or at least get out of the way, but the clock is ticking.


Eight months ago, Vice President Joe Biden set in motion a great national evolution when speaking to CBS, he said,
I am absolutely comfortable with the fact that men marrying men, women marrying women, and heterosexual men and women marrying another are entitled to the same exact rights, all the civil rights, all the civil liberties.
It wasn't long before President Barack Obama declared his own "evolution" and embraced equality, setting of celebrations among freedom-loving liberals and, yes, celebrations among bigots convinced this would be the death knell of the Obama presidency. As one online conservative gloated at the time:
If there is a day to finger for Barack Obama losing the Presidency in 2012, it will be Sunday, May 6, 2012.

On that day, Joe Biden* went on national television and proclaimed himself in favor of gay marriage. It started a media spiral for the President. Two days after Biden spoke, North Carolina voters voted by overwhelming margins to leave marriage alone. The next day, Barack Obama went on national television to devolve back to the position he held prior to running for President [...]

*Okay, in fairness, we could arguably say August 23, 2008, was the day Obama lost his re-election. That's the day he chose Biden to be veep and we all knew it was only a matter of time...

Delicious, isn't it? Things have only looked worse for the haters since mid 2012, as we'll see below the fold. But a hint: They're even endangered in WYOMING. Yup. That bad. Keep reading here.



So, despite the fact

that a teenager who performed at Obama's Inaugural was just gunned down a block from her school, the melanin-fearing, microphallic, morally challenged tweezerheads (read: Wayne LaPierre and Co.) took center stage at the Senate hearings to gut any potential legislation that might prevent small children--or batshit insane motherfuckers--from getting their hands on their god-promised killing machines (and obscene amounts of ammunition) with which to strafe imaginary thundering herds of wildebeest...or classrooms full of real kindergartners. The lunacy that prevailed at the Senate hearing - it boggles the mind. Try this on for size:

Lawyer and gun rights supporter activist Gayle Trotter gave vivid testimony to the Senate Judiciary Committee at a Wednesday hearing on gun violence. Trotter, a senior fellow at the conservative Independent Women's Forum, argued that a proposed ban on assault weapons would "disarm" vulnerable women and "put them at a severe disadvantage" in fights with multiple criminals.


Despite arguing for serious firepower, Trotter said later the most important thing about assault weapons for women's defense is the way the guns look.

"An assault weapon in the hands of a young woman defending her babies in her home becomes a defense weapon," said Trotter, a mother of six. "And the peace of mind she has ... knowing she has a scary-looking gun gives her more courage when she's fighting hardened violent criminals."

I . . . I just can't even. It should be noted that this particular whackjob thinks VAWA infringes on men's rights. 

Where do these people come from? /rhetorical


Tennessee 'Don't Say Gay' Bill Now Requires Teachers To Inform Parents If Their Child Is Gay


Gabrielle Giffords' husband schools NRA tool Wayne LaPierre


Shifty-eyed Frenchman Wayne LaPierre was on Capitol Hill today, using his pie-hole to spray lies and obfuscations in defense of guns 'n ammo makers' profits much as a prepper might fantasize about using a drum magazine-fitted assault rifle to spray bullets at imaginary urban hordes to protect his bunker.

While LaPierre was lying and obfuscating, yet another nutbag went on yet another shooting rampage, which Captain Mark Kelly, husband of Gabby Giffords, pointed out to the committee. Early report:

Three people were shot and wounded Wednesday, one of them with life-threatening injuries, when a gunman opened fire at a Phoenix office complex, authorities said.

One of the three victims sustained "extremely critical" injuries, while the two others were less severely wounded, police said, correcting their earlier report that all three had been critically injured.

Phoenix police Sgt. Tommy Thompson said the gunman was not in custody and that authorities were seeking an "older white male." Police said shell casings at the scene indicated that at least two weapons were used.

Witnesses told KNPX that they heard nine or 10 shots total. A woman who works in the building told the station that she immediately began running down the hallway.

"We didn't know where to hide, because all of our offices are all windows," she said.

Chances are, they'll find the Phoenix shooter dead after he kills himself with one of his legally purchased guns. 


A suspected gunman in Alabama is holding an autistic boy hostage in an underground bunker after shooting and killing the driver of the school bus the boy was on.


A retired barber shot his urologist to death on Monday during a routine visit.


Hunters leave 3,000 tons of lead bullets in the woods each year, and shooting ranges generate another 80,000 tons of spent ammo, CBD says. As many as 20 million eagles, condors, swans and other birds die each year due to lead poisoning after consuming what's left behind. 


'Fundamentally Unfair': How States Tax The Richest 1 Percent At Half The Rate Of The Poor

Lindsey Graham: GOP-Forced Budget Cuts Will Mean Fewer Cops, So People Need To Arm Themselves

Original Mens Rights Activist Phyllis Schlafly, that grand old thing, has some thoughts on women in combat. She is against it. She is against it for all your standard Phyllis Schlafly reasons, but adds in one extra, just to keep things spicy: Men will not be able to stop themselves from the temptation of raping and sexually harrassing the delicate womyn flowers — some women will trick them into it by not being ugly — and then the men will be accused of sexual harrassment and rape! How is that even fair? Why are the women not accused of the sexual harrassment and rape of themselves? What is our world even coming to??? It is like she went to sleep one day and woke up in Starship Troopers!! BUT WITH RAPE!!!

Now, this is not the first time La Schlafly has asserted that women rape themselves, and since she isn't dead yet it won't be the last. But let us read her thoughts, together.

Blah blah Schlafly Schlafly Schlafly. Oh, here it is.

Military women are already complaining about increased sexual assaults, and of course those problems will skyrocket. Only men will be deemed at fault because it is feminist ideology that men are innately batterers and women are victims.

Women, stop raping yourselves! With your seductive wiles! Anyway, there's also this:

Of course, [Leon] Panetta doesn't want to be grilled about his order. It's lacking in common sense and it is toadying to the feminist officers who yearn to be 3- and 4-star generals based on the feminist dogma of gender interchangeability and on their desire to force men into situations to be commanded by feminists.

It's true. That is why we have a whip.


No comments: