Thursday, February 9, 2012

Headlines - Thursday February 9

           Mr. Monaco!
Female Dem state senator adds 'Every sperm is sacred' clause to 'personhood' bill

Sen. Johnson, who represents Oklahoma's 48th District has introduced an amendment to the personhood bill mandating that the same rights and benefits be granted to spermatozoa, writing, "However, any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman's vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child."

This would outlaw masturbation by men, anal sex, sex with condoms, all forms of fellatio to completion, as well as numerous other acts. She later withdrew the measure, but stated that she had inserted it to highlight the absurdity and sexism inherent in the current bill.


Flying spy-death machines, coming to an airspace over you

Just like in the movies, with blood and everything!

Americans seem a tad unhappy with the club of corrupt kleptocrats running their government these days; seems about as good a time as any for Congress to give the go ahead to the military and private corporations to fill our skies with stealth spy-death machines to help keep an eye on protesters traffic conditions, maybe? To be fair, it must be incredibly annoying for the Department of Homeland Security to have to sit there combing Twitter all day long trying to figure out who needs some reedumacating, in Gitmo. And anyway, why should the CIA be the only ones having all the surveillance drone FUN? READ MORE »


This graph (click to embiggen) shows the teenage pregnancy and abortion rate for the last 20 years. Guess what? When teens get pregnant less often, they abort less often. Add this in with the fact that effective birth control (like IUDs and some of the new Pill formulations) can be a serious expense for middle-class households, while Viagra is covered by most health plans, and the 55-40 split in public opinion supporting insurance payment for contraception, and you have a solid political winner.


Here's the story- cops pull over a diabetic man in shock who they think is drunk driving.

I will bet that every one of those goons is still on the job today. The worst thing they probably got was a mildly admonishing memo which was in their personnel files.

If you want to know why more and more Americans are regarding the police as an occupying force, this is why.

The cops had best get over their "blue wall of silence" shit and start dealing with the bad apples. Those six thugs have tarnished the badges of every police officer in their area.

Sooner or later, it ought to be apparent to local governments that brutal cops cost them money and maybe they ought to get rid of them.


Jill: I've been saying for years that once they get abortion, they're going after birth control

".....Of course the solution is very simple, then: Let Catholic hospitals refuse to provide contraception coverage. But then they get not one thin dime of government money. And while we're at it, let them create an unsafe environment in which employees are not protected from toxic substances and where children are hired to empty bedpans. And let's see just how long that hospital stays in business. Besides, amidst all the foofarah about "I don't want my tax money paying for things that might allow dirty sluts to get away with it," when do I get to decide what MY tax money will pay for? And I don't want my tax money going to misogynists and bigots."


Who the real terrorists are.


We liked Ellen when she was just the ditzy receptionist on one of the early Fox sitcoms, back in the freakin' 80s. Now we love her, because she's a stand up kind of gal. "Talk show host Ellen DeGeneres is finally responding to an anti-LGBT rights group that called on JC Penney to fire her as their spokesperson because she is a lesbian. ... In a taping of the "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," which will air on Wednesday, DeGeneres used the opportunity of California's same sex marriage ban being declared unconstitutional to pivot to the self-described "conservative, pro-family" group "One Million Moms." ... "Normally, I try not to pay attention to my haters," she said. "But this time, I'd like to talk about it because my haters are my motivators." ... "This organization doesn't think that I should be the spokesperson because I'm gay. For those of you just tuning in for the first time, it's true. I'm gay. I hope you were sitting down," the TV host joked. ... "So, they wanted to get me fired and I am proud and happy to say that JC Penny stuck by their decision to make me their spokesperson. It's great news for me because I need some new crew socks. I'm really going to clean up with this discount." ... "I usually don't talk about stuff like this on my show," she confessed. "But I really want to thank everyone who is supporting me, and if you don't know me very well, if you're just watching for the first time or maybe you are just getting to know me, I want to be clear. Here are the values that I stand for: I stand for honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values. That's what I stand for.""

New Hampshire's GOP legislature has come up with all manner of absurd bills recently, including a proposal making public school curriculum optional, another to prevent police from protecting domestic abuse victims, and even a measure mandating that new laws be based on the Magna Carta. Some of the Granite State's GOP lawmakers have even proposed doing away with the law that requires employers to give their workers time off for lunch, under the rationale that all employers will simply grant lunch breaks out of the goodness of their hearts:

"This is an unneeded law," [Republican state Representative Kyle Jones] said. "If I was to deny one of my employees a break, I would be in a very bad position with the company's human resources representative. If you consider that this is a very easy law to follow in that everyone already does it, then why do we need it? Our constituents have already proven that they have enough common sense to do this on their own."

The bill's sponsor, state representative J.R. Hoell, argued that companies failing to provide lunch breaks would be shamed over social media, thus rendering the law unnecessary. "If they are not letting people have lunch, they could put it out though the news media, though social media. I don't think that abusive behavior would continue, the way communications are today," he said.

Of course, not every employer can be counted to to follow even the easiest of requirements to look after workers' health and rights. Back in 2005, Walmart was forced to pay $172 million for denying workers their lunch breaks. Pyramid Breweries Inc. settled a case in 2008 for $1.5 million. Just a few months ago, California ordered Embassy Suites to pay workers tens of thousands of dollars for forcing them to skip breaks.

"The fact that in 2012, I would be even sitting in front of the Labor Committee talking about eliminating the lunch hour is outrageous," said Mark MacKenzie, New Hampshire's state AFL-CIO representative. "People should at least be able to be given the opportunity to eat." Fortunately, the bill does not seem too appealing to most of the New Hampshire legislature, and the state House's labor committee adjourned yesterday without voting on it.


Over 650 Physicians Speak Out in Favor of Contraception Ruling | Over 650 physicians and medical students, including 70 self-identifying Catholics, from 49 states signed an open letter to President Obama and Secretary Kathleen Sebelius urging them to maintain a recent HHS contraception rule providing women access to cost-free contraception through their insurers. The petition, which was drafted by grassroots organization Doctors for America, argues that "Women and their doctors should be allowed to make contracpetive decisions based on medical reasons and personal beliefs — not based on someone else's religious doctrine." An infographic posted on the website points out that 11.2 million American women ages 15-44 use oral contraceptives, and 58 percent of them use contraception for reasons other than family planning. — Fatima Najiy


Mississippi Legislator Proposes Renaming Gulf Of Mexico As 'Gulf Of America' | Mississippi state Rep. Steve Holland (D) has introduced a bill that in Mississippi, would rename the Gulf of Mexico as the "Gulf of America." According to HB 150, "For all official purposes within the State of Mississippi, the body of water that is located directly south of Hancock, Harrison and Jackson Counties shall be known as the 'Gulf of America.'" The Mississippi House's Marine Resources Committee will hold a hearing on the bill, and if it is approved by the legislature, Mississippi would begin recognizing the Gulf of Mexico as the "Gulf of America" on July 1.


Republicans in Congress, outraged over Obama's proposal for health insurance companies to cover contraception, are neglecting to mention that the free insurance we provide for them has covered contraception (even the morning after pill) since 1998.

And this: Six Republican senators - including Snowe and Collins - co-sponsored federal contraception mandate in 2001 


Frothy goes from contraception to the guillotine in 60 seconds.


The gathering of crazies known as the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) finally slithers about as far to the right as is possible. In inviting Peter Brimelow, the founder of VDARE, they've now embraced honest-to-god white nationalists with open arms. The next time some dumbass challenges you to give them an example of racism on the right, go ahead and point them toward this Nazi.


Bill Clinton Spawned Demonic Sex Parties!


The above full-page ad will appear in today's edition of Roll Call in Washington DC.


Cardinal Edward Egan has withdrawn his apology for the child molestation scandals that were exposed when he was the Archbishop of New York. That 2002 letter of apology was read to all of the congregations under his control.

A decade after that letter, the former archbishop of New York, and former bishop of Bridgeport, now describes the handling of the priest-abuse crisis under his watch as "incredibly good." He said of the letter, "I never should have said that," and added, "I don't think we did anything wrong." "I never had one of these sex abuse cases." he said, before adding pompously, "If you have another bishop in the United States who has the record I have, I'd be happy to know who he is."

He also claimed that the Church had no obligation to report abuse to the civil authorities. These are lies, strutting around with pride. The Church is required to report abuse, according to laws on the books since the 1970s. Bishop Egan ran a diocese that was notoriously dangerous for children. Contrary to his claim, during his twelve-year enthronement at Bridgeport, Egan repeatedly failed to investigate priests where there were obvious signs of abuse, according to The Hartford Courant. His diocese had to settle the cases and awarded victims some $12-15 million in damages.

In 2009 Egan was succeeded by Archbishop Timothy Dolan, who himself is about to be elevated to Cardinal. Like Dolan, he is a vocal opponent of LGBT rights.


American Family Association: JCPenney And Ellen Will Give You Breast Cancer

"Will America's young women be just a bit more likely to experiment with lesbianism now that JCPenney is mainstreaming it? Too any objective observer, the answer must be yes. Is this a good thing? To any objective observer, the answer must be no. Research has indicated that lesbians suffer from increased levels of depression, suicidal ideation, substance abuse, breast cancer and vaginal diseases compared to heterosexual women. Thus what JCPenney has done, by increasing, even if ever so slightly, the chances that young women will experiment with this behavior will turn out to be a tragic thing for some. JCPenney will have to share some culpability for that." - American Family Association radio host Bryan Fischer. (Via Right Wing Watch)

RELATED: Last night Jeebus came to me in a dream and told me that Bryan Fischer takes it up the ass from male goats. What? How DARE you doubt a revelation from God?!? STOP OPPRESSING ME!


Roland Martin was suspended from CNN for tweeting very homophobic things during the Super Bowl including this:

Who the hell was that New England Patriot they just showed in a head to toe pink suit? Oh, he needs a visit from #teamwhipdatass

And this:

If a dude at your Super Bowl party is hyped about David Beckham's H&M underwear ad, smack the ish out of him

Yeah, I would have suspended him too. But also for being a shitty pundit. While I was at it, I would fire Erick Erickson, too, for saying far worse things online since forever.


Keep Going John Boehner!

Here's Speaker of the House John Boehner speaking out against the Obama Administration's requirement that all health insurance plans cover birth control without co-pays.

"If the president does not reverse the Department's attack on religious freedom, then the Congress, acting on behalf of the American people and the Constitution we are sworn to uphold and defend, must," Boehner said. "This attack by the federal government on religious freedom in our country cannot stand, and will not stand."

The Speaker said the House would take matters into its own hands with committee hearings and legislative action to push back if the administration declines to act.

"In the days ahead, the House will approach this matter fairly and deliberately, through regular order and the appropriate legislative channels," Boehner said. He called on the Energy & Commerce Committee, which has jurisdiction over the issue, to take steps against the rule and "consider all possible options."

Yes! Do it!

Please, take time out of congress's busy schedule to legislate reproductive healthcare. Please, display to the nation that the culture war is more important to you than jobs or the economy. Demonstrate to America that nothing will get you moving like the tyranny of contraception.

Whatever action the House of Boehner takes, it will never become law. They're just flailing. And I encourage them to keep going! Show America your ass.


Boehner Raises the Debt Ceiling on DOMA Spending

The House of Boehner previously raised the expense-cap for their $520 per hour lawyer Paul Clement, who was hired to defend the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in court, from $500,000 to $750,000, and now the cap has been tripled to $1.5 million.

The U.S. House has tripled the cost cap for the legal expenses of hiring a private attorney to defend the Defense of Marriage Act in court to reach a potential total sum of $1.5 million.

According to recently approved contract modification dated Sept. 30, House General Counsel Kerry Kircher has agreed to pay Bancroft LLC private attorney Paul Clement a sum not to exceed $750,000 to defend DOMA, but this cap may be raised to $1.5 million under written notice.

"It is further understood and agreed that, effective October 1, 2011, the aforementioned $750,000.00 cap may be raised from time to time up to, but not exceeding, $1.5 million, upon written notice of the General Counsel to the Contractor specifying that the General Counsel is legally liable under this Agreement for a specific amount," the contract modification states.

Paul Clement was also recently hired by Governor Nikki Haley to defend South Carolina's Voter ID law on behalf of South Carolina taxpayers at a rate of $500 per hour.

Both South Carolina's voter suppression law and the Defense of Marriage Act have been designated unconstitutional by the Department of Justice.

Why do the Republicans hate the constitution? Why is it okay to arbitrarily raise the spending cap for defending prejudice but not for helping the sick and poor or the victims of natural disasters?


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