Monday, December 5, 2011

Headlines - Monday December 5

Andy Borowitz: If Anthony Weiner had committed adultery instead of just tweeting about it, he could be Newt Gingrich right now.
Sweet Jeebus! Amnesty International calls on African nations to arrest George Bush for authorizing torture.
18 Newt Gingrich Quotes That Disqualify Him From Ever Being President
So it's actually possible to do things like this? And not keep sucking up to the 1% who ruined the economy? Go figure.
Iceland's special prosecutor has taken Larus Welding, the former head of the failed Glitnir Bank, into custody, Reuters reports.

Glitnir Bank was the first of the top three Icelandic commercial banks to fail in 2008.

Former director of market trade Jóhannes Baldursson and former broker Ingi Rafn Júlíusson were also taken into custody and between ten and twenty other former employees of Glitnir Bank were also investigated.


The Year of Lying Decadently


Ahab on the amount of religious lobbying going on in Washington. Don't any of these so-called Christians have a problem with pay-for-legislation?


And yet, Martha Stewart went to jail.


"The cat's still on the roof, and we're having a lot of trouble getting her down..." More bad news from TEPCO:

TOKYO — At least 45 tons of highly radioactive water has leaked from a purification facility at the Fukushima Daiichi buclear power station, and some of it may have reached the Pacific Ocean, the plant's operator said on Sunday.

The new radioactive water leak called into question the progress that the plant's operator, Tokyo Electric Power Company, appeared to have made in bringing its reactors under control. The company, known as Tepco, has said that it hopes to bring the plant to a stable state known as a cold shutdown by the end of the year.

The trouble on Sunday came in two stages, a Tepco statement said. In the morning, utility workers found that radioactive water was flooding a catchment next to a purification device; the device was then switched off, and the leak appeared to stop. But the company said it later discovered that leaked water was escaping through a crack in the catchment's concrete wall and was reaching an external gutter.

In all, as much as 220 tons of water may now have leaked from the facility, according to a report in the Asahi Shimbun newspaper that cited Tepco officials.

The newspaper says the water may have contained up to one million times as much radioactive strontium as the maximum safe level set by the government, and about 300 times as much radioactive cesium. Both are readily absorbed by living tissue and can greatly increase the risk of developing cancer.


Newt Grabs Coveted Cain Endorsement, Huntsman LOLs at Trump

Well the Cainwreck is finally over, but prepare for at least another day of Cain-related headlines, because Herm is set to instruct his fourteen remaining supporters to throw their weight behind Newt Gingrich.

And fresh off the coveted Cain endorsement, Newt's heading up to the West Side to supplicate Donald Trump in the latter's eponymous Tower.

John Nichols at The Nation has some nice things to say even about Ron Paul, commending Paul for being a "Republican choos[ing] not to be ridiculous" in declining an invite to the TrumpFest.

But as far as reactions go among Republican presidential contenders to Donald Trump's forthcoming debate, we don't expect anything can top this, from Huntsman campaign spokesman Tim Miller. Miller, in an email query regarding Huntsman's intentions to attend Trump's debate, replied merely "Lol." We love it: Simple, concise, direct, to the point. We also love that the the peculiar spelling—"Lol"—suggests the email was sent from an iPhone.

So are we already at war with Iran? Dear god we hope not. But the National Journal is worried, and, by extension, making us worry.

President Obama sends his "condolences" to Pakistan, meanwhile, because diplomacy is weird and he can't just say "sorry," which is something we'd probably do if we killed a dozen of our pals.

Are you ready for endless summer? Because climate change is back! The recession did a number on our carbon emissions, but in the latest leading indicator of a long-awaited economic recovery we're back to ruining everything in earnest again. "The increase solidified a trend of ever-rising emissions that scientists fear will make it difficult, if not impossible, to forestall severe climate change in coming decades," reports the Times. Ugh. Mondays.

In other leading indicators of economic recovery, new housing starts in Washington DC jumped by one, as Occupy DC built a house that was quickly foreclosed upon and all 31 residents were tossed in the can. [READ MORE AT GIFZETTE.]


NYC taxpayer money used protecting banksters and propagandists...

The NYPD provides Fox News's midtown Manhattan studios 24/7 protection, The Daily Beast reports, more than any other media organization in the city.

ABC, NBC and CBS pay for their own private security details whereas, according to one security expert, Fox News's around-the-clock protection by the boys in blue costs city taxpayers at least $500,000 a year.

Reached for comment, NYPD spokesman Paul Browne told The Beast "Each of the networks gets police coverage to varying extents based on threat information." But the other major New York-based media outlets had no knowledge of the offered protection, and one employee at ABC commented, "I would love the special favors."

Hey, guess whose son works for Fox? Why yes, NYPD Commish Ray "Spray 'Em if You Can't Take a Joke" Kelly.


Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is reportedly planning to offer a compromise in exchange for extending payroll tax cuts.

It's a good bet the Republicans will turn down any offer just so they can claim taxes went up under President Obama, so it's smart to offer them as much as possible now so they look worse later.


In other news, this is why we can't have nice things.

Religious people distrust the world's estimated 500 million atheistsas much as rapists, a study found Friday in the wake of a poll that said less than half of Americans would vote for an atheist president. [...]

The study published in the current online issue of Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that outward displays of belief in God are viewed as a proxy for trustworthiness.

That explains the Republican party, wouldn't you say?



From the Gingrich 2012 parody website:

The Gingriches need your support! Click on the picture to read about the family values of one of the most prolific and progressive husbands in politics. Learn about how he progressed from one grievously ill wife to the next, and took on the insurmountable task of condemning and prosecuting a president's affair while keeping his own a secret. If you want a manager, vote for Mitt Romney, but if you want an agent of change, vote for the man with the guts to change wives when his country and God demand it of him! For example, if God gives her cancer, that's probably a sign.



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